“No time for temporary people.”
Settle in on the couch and take your first taste of java. Let’s meditate on that statement for a minute. How does it strike you?
To some, it may be a mantra of strength, something they tell themselves as a way to forget fleeting friends. To others, like me…this doesn’t compute. I understand that sometimes we want to forget people, maybe people who have harmed us or betrayed us. However, simply being “temporary” isn’t a good enough reason to not say, “Come in, enter! Let’s enjoy the time we have together.”
Everyone has had different experiences; some much more dismal and brooding than others. Experiences shape and change us. They change our perception of people. Situations which may alter our views on society can include trauma and tragedy, betrayal, deception, loss, harassment and intimidation.
I’m no counselor, but I simply want to express the idea that maybe seeing “temporary” people as invaluable or unimportant isn’t such a good viewpoint. All viewpoints are considered valid, but changing your viewpoint can change your overall quality of life. Talk about powerful!
Okay, so. “No time for temporary people.” What is it that makes a person temporary?
Maybe you’re traveling to another country and decide to stay in a hostel. Your fellow bunkers are temporary in your life because you’ll all go your separate ways after the trip. Perhaps you’re an exchange student living with a host family for a period of time. You’ll pack up your books and bags and head back to your home country when the time comes along.
I’ll share an example from my recent years: I did two Disney college programs, migrated down to Orlando and worked with groups of people and roomed with some fantastic ladies, and all the while I dreaded departing them. Our time was limited so for the most part, we all made the effort to indulge in loving each other, having fun together, making memories and taking pictures together.
Unless you’re Patrick Star and live under a rock, you’re going to come across all sorts of people who can be considered temporary in your lifetime. Schoolmates. Coworkers and colleagues. Gosh, even the baristas who serve your favorite drink at all the different Starbucks’ you’ll visit along your road trips and the New Yorkers who will point you in the right direction when you’re lost on the NYC subway. They’re temporary but they’re shaping our experiences!
Friends come and friends go. Some friendships last forever and some die quickly or end badly. I’m guessing the phrase “No time for temporary people” is more geared towards the friends who leave us in a flash, the ones who things don’t work out with. Sometimes friends can be so toxic and draining that it’s a relief to break ties with them. Freedom from toxicity is divine.
We tend to forget this one reminder: each person who enters and/or exits your life is either a blessing or a lesson, either way, extremely precious.
And what is time, anyway? Do we think of time as money? It’s a common saying and a common mindset…but, then, if we see time as money, and we have no time for temporary people, we must believe that we can put a cash value on humans. How disgusting is that?
Shameful, honestly.
Time is not money unless you’re working to get paid. Time is a concept that none of us have ultimate control over; we don’t decide when we are born, and we don’t know when we will die.
In conclusion, I don’t think being temporary is a reason to dismiss a person’s value to you. Nobody is truly permanent, we will all end up returning to the earth as part of the circle of life. Cue Lion King music. And you never know when the last time you’ll hug your mother’s neck will be, or when you hear your grandpa’s final cackling laugh. WE are ultimately temporary. So let us value each other and the time we have together.
Lindsay
Coffee With Lindsay 